There are two types of Halloween lovers: Those who like culturally-relevant costumes and serving precious ghost cupcakes, and those who live to freak their friends the hell out in the most disgusting way possible.
We tend to fall into the latter category.
Well, Halloween is right around the corner and we've assembled a list of the most ridiculous grub you need on your Halloween party platter. We thought we covered the most disturbing, disgusting food and drinks out there last year, but damn were we wrong.
If you dare, drop one of these way-too-realistic garnishes into your martini to transform it into an eyeball highball. You might not believe it, but this trick comes all the way from Martha Stewart's kitchen.
I love alcohol, don't get me wrong, but I definitely don't want my drink looking at me all night. You go right ahead, though...
It's like "hot dogs or legs", but way, way worse. These gnarly little appendages are super easy to make and eat, even if their appearance can a bit tough on the tummy. We found the original directions on jojoebi designs, where she fully breaks down the process of creating these freakish franks.
EWWWWWWWW! This is almost too gross to include. I first time I saw this image on Pillow Thought, I felt like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin. The author, Lindsey Marlor, suggests sticking mini marshmallows on lollipop sticks and then dipping the ends in melted butterscotch chips. For an even more disgusting option, try melting down some chunky peanut butter for the ends!
David Burtka, half of the celeb couple who always pulls off the most legen—wait for it—dary family Halloween costumes, created this beaker of pork dumpling brains guaranteed to disgust and delight for Delish. Now, these I can get behind.
Look, if there's a stream of falling chocolate cascading off of a small fountain, you know I'm sticking any food I can find under it—unless that stream looks like the aftermath of a cut artery. This horrendous Halloween food hack comes from the Sugar & Spice blog. The author, Celeste, suggests making a spread of other spooky foods to dip in the dripping chocolate such as grape "eyeballs" and sponge cake "brains".
I'd do anything for meatloaf, but I won't eat this.
A blogger, Megan Reardon, created something truly horrifying—a hand-shaped meatloaf. There is just so much graphic detail, it makes me feel woozy. All you need is your mama's meatloaf recipe, a hand mold, and a twisted sense of humor. Check her blog for the full instructions (with variations!). Attempt this at the risk of losing all of your friends.
Is that chocolate or poop? It's chocolate, thankfully.
These are just too real looking for me to be comfortable, I mean c'mon! We found these little mounds of joy on an Insta post by Kara Phelps (@karajoellep). I don't have anything to say other than I would never put one of these anywhere near my mouth.
There you have it—seven dishes you can craft to make sure your friends know that you're the weird one.
Plan on giving any of these recipes a try at your monster mash bash? Let us know if it ended up as a trick or as a treat in the comments. As always, make sure to share this post using the links below with other ghouls and ghosts. Have a safe and gross Halloween, everyone!